Want to Stop Giving Up? Successful People Do These 5 Things.

Each year people set New Year’s Resolutions. Each Year nearly 88% give up after just 14 days. In fact, the second Friday in January has been termed “Quitters Day” due to the vast majority of people abandoning their resolutions.

In my search to understand why some people fail while others are so successful, I researched Resiliency and the impact on successful teams.

What I found is that there are several traits that resilient people focus on and practice that others do not.

1) Keep Learning 

My wife and I have owned several businesses. One motto we have espoused is “We have never failed, we have only learned.”

When you approach each situation, regardless of the outcome, as an opportunity to learn, it creates a growth mindset. This positive mindset embraces the idea that we are not finished and complete, but rather, we are living and growing organisms.

If you are mired in difficulty, take a moment to write down what you are learning. Don’t worry if this is hard at first. The skill of recognizing learning takes practice.

2) Consistency

“You are what your consistently do,” my brother-in-law explained. We were a young married couple with two kids under two. When we visited my wife’s family I was struck by how successful they seemed to be at a young age. It didn’t have to do with money, but rather, the success I noticed was the closeness of their family.

While playing a card game with my wife’s family, John explained to me that anything I want to achieve in life is founded upon consistency.

I have applied the principle of consistency in many aspects of my life - marriage, kids, business, hobbies, health, etc. The results have always been an accumulation of my personal commitment to consistency.

3) Positively Engaged Mind

This was not one of my shining moments. I did not conquer the dragon with skill and effort. Instead, I allowed my mind to become angry. Almost enraged. And the thoughts of angst, frustration, and contempt filled my thoughts until my body began to react.

In the midst of a family tragedy I found myself plummeting downward in a spiral of negativity. My work began to suffer. My relationships began to suffer.

Until one day an extremely wise spouse calmly looked at me and said “Mark, you need to chose. You need to chose to remain in this spiral, or you need to chose to see positivity.”

Inside I was boiling with anger. How could she call me out that way? Didn’t she know how I was feeling?

The reality is she knew exactly how I was feeling. She had been there too.

That was a pivotal day for me. It was the day I decided.

Working to cultivate a positively engaged mind takes time. The shift was not over night.

I can honestly say I sometimes find myself slipping back into the negative…until I hear the sweet encouraging words “Mark, you need to chose.”

One strategy I have used to help stay positively engaged is to ask myself “What small moment of happiness or joy did I experience today?”

The more I focus on the happiness and joy, the greater my strength to overcome the challenges.

4) Continual Clarity

When our family moved states, one of our daughters was struggling with friends. She constantly felt like she didn’t have a close relationship with any of the girls her age. For many teenage girls. friends are the very center of their identify.

Within just a few short months after moving she had friends, was invited to parties, and very seldom had weekends without something to do. I asked her why she is experiencing a different friend circle compare to our last home. Her answer outstanding me. She said, “Dad, I decided I wanted to be different and started acting like I wanted even though it was foreign to me.”

At a young age our daughter was learning the key to Continual Clarity - the intentional act of defining what you want your reality to look like. Not only did she define her new desired future, but she intentionally worked on it day in and day out until her desired future was realized.

Successful people do the same thing. They spend time defining the desired outcome, and then put into place a plan to intentionally work towards the goal.

5) Coaching

The chanting was heard in rotation that was heard with each breath. What started as silence was beginning to roar into a cacophony of unified chant. “Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!”

As I made the final turn at the wall I tipped my head ever so slightly out of the water. Just enough to see my coach cheering me on. His directed yell “Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!”pierced through the water propelling me towards the finish line.

Growing up in Florida I was taught to swim at a very early age. By the time I was in Jr. High I was competing against 16-18yr old swimmers. My goal was to swim in the olympics…or at least to achieve the pinnacle of Club Swim in our region.

Each week I practiced and practiced. My natural talent and love to swim was not enough. If I was going achieve my 1st place blue ribbon goals, I needed a coach that would teach me to skills to achieve at the next level.

Athletes have coaches. CEOs and business leaders have coaches. Great coaches have coaches.

For over two decades I have coached countless people. What amazes me is the continued growth and success that coaching offers. The continual coaching discussion that is focused on personal development has changed many lives.

One of my favorite coaching experiences is when a client has a realization that unlocks, unfetters, and allows them to move forward at a pace with consistency and intensity.

Coaching unlocks and gives you tools to create the intentional and exceptional life you desire.